This is a public service announcement for all men.
If you go to Bolton
If you go to Manchester
Or crewe
Newcastle, or Scarborough
York, or Scunthorp, Branford, Barnsley too
Or Grimsby
Listen up to what we have to say
Northern birds are lazy ugly whores who smell of burgers
So don't have too much to drink
Or you might fuck one
And end up getting aids
There's nothing fun
To be found off the M1
Northern birds are lower class
Slags who take it up the arse
They're in the sack
After one cider and black
But they're fucking awful rides
And your dick won't touch the sides
Da-da-da-da-da-da
Da-da-da-da
Northern Birds
Da-da-da-da-da
If you really have to
Go up north then follow our advice
Fight away the women
Or you'll find yourself with Pubic lice
And herpes
Your much better staying in the South
Northern Birds
Are desperate ugly hippos dressed in Burberry
With a peanut for a brain
And an accent that makes you want to die
Now you've been warned
They're all physically deformed
Northern birds
Are all obese
And they're riddled with disease
Try to escape
Northern sex is worse than rape
Stay down safe and mark my words
Stear well clear of northern birds
Northern birds
Northern birds
