Fat As I Am

Fat as I am.

Who wants to see a diva fat as I am?

I get mistaken now for Lainie Kazan.

How is it that I'm fat as I am?



Fat as I am.

The camera's gonna add a ton to my can.

This is the way they say Godzilla began.

How did I get as fat as I am?



"Try it again."

All of my friends say I should diet again;

That all my fans are gonna riot again.

"Look what happened to Liz."



All of my sins

are not as numerous as . . . all of my chins!

I could audition for the doublemint twins.

No one in the biz is as fat as I is.



Ah, but what's a career

when you put it next to knockwurst and beer?

They could park a DC10 on my rear.

God knows I got the gas!



There goes the chair.

But to tell the truth, I'm too fat to care!

I ate a meatball off the floor right over there.

Ah, you don't give a damn

when you're fat as I am!