If you don't golf that's okay
You can be a tiger anyway
Lie through your teeth when things get tough
Or your balls are gonna wind up in the rough, yeah yeah
If you wanna be like Tiger Woods
Fertilizing ladies in the neighborhood
Get real rich and you will find
All the hot chicks will want to grind
If you wanna be like Tiger Woods
Grip that shaft like you know you should
Get a platinum card, it will be all good
The girls will want you just like Tiger Woods
Remember this when you're having fun
Three holes are better than a hole in one, yeah
If the word gets out don't be afraid
When a 9 iron's heading for you, escalade! yeah yeah
If you wanna be like Tiger Woods
Filling all the divots in the neighborhood
Don't think about those three foot putts
And cover your tracks when you're banging them sluts
If you wanna be like Tiger Woods
Text messages are never good
Nail the girl at the driving range
Your life will change, just like Tiger Woods
Have your best friend book all your flights
Tell your wife that you're golfing nights
Get a call girl and maybe just chill
Be willing to part with a 100 mil
Bang a new pornstar every day
Tell your sponsors it will be okay
Surprise them all with an invitation
To a viewing of your first double penetration, yeah
If you wanna be like Tiger Woods
Poking all the holes in the neighborhood
Tell your wife how it's gonna be
Your driver is community property
If you wanna be like Tiger Woods,
Brett Favre did it, so you know you could!
Become the king of your neighborhood
Like Steel Panther and Tiger Woods
Just like Tiger Woods! oh yeah yeah
